I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
