Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
