Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
