How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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