I'm really into asian looking animals
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
