Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
