Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
