the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
