Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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