He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
