i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
