There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
