Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I pour the whiskey from now on
wow bdsm is so cute
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
