my mouth tastes like poor choices
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
