I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
