Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
