Banned from zoo.
Again?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
