Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
