At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your penis caused this!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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