oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
