Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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