Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
