meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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