i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
