...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
