I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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