My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
