just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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