Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
