Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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