mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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