Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
