i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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