my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
