I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
