no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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