its not stalking. its research.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
