so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
