That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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