i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
