hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
