I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
