Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
