That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
