I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
