He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
