I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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