Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
