I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
