Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
