just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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